I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
