That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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