Do you still have your period?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
