We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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