You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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