Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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