I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
