I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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