you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
