Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
