He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
