Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
