i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
