I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
