i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
