Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Everything about him screamed your future.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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