U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
