I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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