I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
