I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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