Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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