pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Randomize
