i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
