its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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