Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They took my balls.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
