No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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