My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
