Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
