fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
