So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
