just come out here and I will go home with you...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
