i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
