I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
BRING THE BAGELS
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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