We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
