is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
