Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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