chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
