wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
how does that bad decision feel?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
