Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
