Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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