I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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