this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
