If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
