I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
