I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
