I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
sarcasm needs its own font
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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