I'm so fucking centered right now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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