she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he was CRYING into my vagina
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
