i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
