if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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