he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
