so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
