I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
