A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
