Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
